Braided Essays_Week1_HemaShah – What You Did With Life’s Lemons
The Rocky Start
Disappointed at the birth of yet another girl child, your father wished you had never been born. Your grandmother took you under her wing and made sure you were nourished. When the time came, you walked 2 miles to the school in the next village – wearing the hand me down uniform until there was no more fabric left to let out and it was bursting at the seams.
At 14, they dressed you up in bridal
finery and married you off to a man 10 years older than you. A middle son,
quiet and mild, his older brother was married to your older sister. She had
convinced them to take you without a dowry. You were fair and pretty. You would
make beautiful babies. When you said you’d prefer the educated man, your father
said he couldn’t afford the scooter the man wanted as a dowry. You dropped out
of high school to marry an uneducated farmer.
In your new home in the distant city, you
heard the rats rummaging around you in the dark. You had moved here with your
husband and son to carve out a new life for your family, in the land of
opportunity and riches, away from the vagaries of the monsoon and the harshness
of a family in which everyone struggled to survive.
You cradled your 2-year-old son
protectively, that lovely, fair beautiful boy who represented that bright
future you know would be yours for sure. Nothing would harm a single hair on
his head or any other part of him. You worked as a house maid and a nanny. You
saw how people lived in the city. How they groomed themselves and their
children. You made sure your child dressed well, smelled good and ate healthy
home cooked food. He was the centre of your universe. Your reason for
existence. And nothing was too good for him.
Dancing in the Sunshine
By sheer luck, or was it fate, you
happened upon a very special family. They showed you a little love and kindness,
it was more than anything you had experienced before, except the grandmother in
the village.
You figured out a way to make yourself
indispensable to this family. No task was out of scope, too small or too far
beneath you. Like a sponge, you absorbed everything happening around you. You
learned how to cook different kinds of foods. You watched YouTube and learnt
how to organize cupboards, make metal objects shine like you, iron clothes,
scrub floors.
You were the maid everyone wanted. But you
stayed loyal to the family, caring for the grandma and grandpa as if they were
your own flesh and blood.They became the center of your universe.
You learned how to count money, the price
of things you never knew existed. And your dream started to get clearer and
sharper. You wanted your children to have a life like that of the family you
served. Built on a solid foundation of education and good work ethics.You
enrolled them in schools that would prepare them for such a career. You
couldn’t afford the tuition, but learning from the grandma, you found a way.
You saved and scrimped and denied yourself everything but the barest necessity.
You taught your children to value the opportunity. At Parent Teacher meetings,
you dressed in your finest clothes to make sure you wouldn’t embarrass them.
Back in the village, your parents were getting old and needed help. You found it in yourself to forgive your father, and rebuild a relationship with them. You helped your siblings and their children make their way into the big city and save themselves from the unpredictable life of a farmer.
And just as everything was going well, things fell apart. The family that you had served for 14 years while raising your children left the city. Grandpa was the first to go. And then grandma. You nursed them till the very end. And then the rest of the family left your city.
Hunt that Sun
Stunned by the sudden loss of anchor and
purpose you stumbled. Sometimes you came close to despair.
But slowly, you recalled the stories you
had heard from the grandparents. About hard times and keeping the faith. About
resilience and bouncing back. You learnt
to ask for help and accept it. Your friends and family rallied around.
Reluctantly you found a new family to
support. They are very young, just a little older than your own children. The
young couple are smart. They both have demanding, well paying jobs. And yet, there is so much they have yet to learn. Things you learnt from the grandma. About hunting dreams and managing your finances. You show them how to make their money go further. You teach them what you've learnt about prioritizing time and money. You promise you’ll stay with them till their baby is old enough to go to school.
And even as you do that, you stay true to your dream. You keep paying off the loan you've taken and rent out the home you've built. One day you will retire there. You build up your skills by asking questions, watching you tube and tik tok videos. On your days off you work ad hoc jobs, organizing people's clutter, making traditional treats at festivals. You are finally able to save, and your investments are paying off.
Through focus and hard work your kids made it into engineering school.
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