You are invited to a meeting ... .in Hanoi !

Hanoi ? Vietnam ? Places I have heard of for my whole entire life - but where exactly is it ? In the 3 years that I've been in India, I haven't given it a second thought, and now that the meeting is being held in Hanoi

I am at a loss as to exactly where it is.

The only Hanoi I can think of is the infuriating Tower of Hanoi problem from the Algorithms class at Marist College. And that brings with it the memory of Prof Ten Eyck and the "page fault".. A computer is said to have experienced a page fault - and therefore a slight delay in processing - when the data required for a transaction cannot be found in local memory and must be fetched from external storage , in my case that would be from Google.

So in the map above - you can clearly see the eastern part of India, Bangladesh and the Bay of Bengal on the left. The big country adjacent to Assam is Myanmar (which most of us know as Burma) Ad next to it stretching down to the coast is Thailand. Cambodia is the country sitting below and to the east of Thailand and Laos is the long thin sliver nestled between Thailand and Vietnam - Vietnam being the country colored in red. Burma, Assam, Laos and Vietnam all share a border with China. To the East of Vietnam, is the South China Sea and the set of islands directly east are the Philippine Islands. Cannot see Malaysia on this map, it is to the south of Thailand. Singapore, which is at the southern end of Malaysia, is seperated from Malaysia by the Singapore straits . Indonesia is to the south of the Philippines and east and south of Malaysia and Singapore. So there you have it the countries of the ASEAN region !!

So now that we all know where Vietnam is lets see how a US citizen gets there from New Delhi (note we still do not know where Hanoi is). Apparently everyone needs a visa to go to Vietnam. If you are a US citizen you pay a $100 for the privilege that the rest of the world pays $25 for. The visa must be applied for on the web and collected on arrival.

There are no direct flights from New Delhi (or most places for that matter). You must either connect through Hongkong, Singapore or Bangkok. All international flights arrive around 9:30am and depart around 11:00am. Those are the choices. So its like catching a red eye (Delhi-Bankok) and then making a connection. I arrive BKK at 4:15am (who wants to arrive anywhere at that hour) and catch my connection at 8:30am. Fortunately Bangkok airport has the best foot massage parlor. Spending time there should not be hard.

I shall spare you the Delhi airport travails this time - you are starting to get the drill by now. I've arrived very early for my flight, so it is less of a battle all around and before long I settle into an empty chair with my generous supply of mail.

I had tried to look up the weather report before leaving, and instead of hitting weather I hit news - The headlines screamed - Diarrhea epidemic continues unabated in Hanoi ! and Foot and mouth disease cases mount (again in Hanoi).. and I am reminded that high rate of GDP aside, this is still a developing tropical country. Don't drink the water !!!

The flight from Delhi to Bangkok is jam packed. Lekhni tells me I have the last seat. I have now dubbed this flight the Smuggler's special. Hundreds of people that can only be characterized as the business community are on board. The stewardess tells them about 4 times to go back to their seats - they are all running all over the place hugging, kissing like long lost brothers, trading notes on the friendliest customs agents and duty free prices. As soon as the plane is in the air - they are back - I ask the fellow leaning right over me to talk to his pal if he would like to sit in my seat. Sadly the irony is lost on him - as he moves his garlic laden breath a few inches away.. I am about to call the stewardess.. when better counsel prevails and he moves onto another buddy. I wonder if this Vietnam trip is really worth it. Fortunately it is an outbound flight so I am not ladenwith oddshaped packages poking into my sides.

Hanoi, I realize from the flight map on the plane, is in the northern part of the country. Hard to tell just how far it is from the coast. The chauffeur with the hotel car later tellls me it is 90 miles to the ocean. What about Saigon you say ? Saigon is on the southern tip - its been renamed Ho Chi Minh City after the revolutionary leader. It is the commercial capital of the country - not as pretty I am guessing as Hanoi.

The airport at Hanoi is a scene I am now increasingly used to - complete bedlam, chaos and confusion and long lines. The desks are manned by young kids - barely 22 years old. They seem to look at the passports with fear and bewilderment - so perhaps I exaggerate , perhaps that is my projection but man they were painfully slow with their processing. The one kid looked at my passport photo then my face then back at the photo - he was struggling with believing it was the same person.... Hey kid.. me too...! I actually think I am way skinnier than that photograph. .but trust me it was a bad camera..can we get a move on please.

I make it outside eventually - find the driver of the BMW 325 that is to transport me to the Hotel - the Sofitel.

I have to confess I approached this trip with less enthusiasm than many other trips to foreign lands. The only thing going for it were a couple of websites that talked of Dreaming of Hanoi and the strong French influence on the city. It is a beautifully appointed hotel. And I realize as I see the Burberry, Louis Vitton and other luxury labels on the stores in the neighborhood that I must be in a very elite neighborhood. It is a very old hotel that boasts Charlie Chaplin and a zilion other celebrities stayed at.

The first day there I was consumed by jet lag (from my trip to the US the previous week) and could barely wake myself up for the 5pm meeting. Dinner was a 30 course Vietnamese feast including a large fish wrapped in banana leaf. 2 men had to carry the fish into the room on a stretcher. Exotic sea and land food - spotted snails, crabs and what not were on the menu. All very fishy. I was relieved when I saw my picky Indian colleague say he was not going to eat eggplant - he wanted pasta !!! The big boss joined us and being picky Indian eaters became legitimate.

Business meeting was interesting - and we had pasta for lunch again while our colleagues ate more Vietnamese delicacies.

Dinner was at Club 51 a gorgeous setting - a French Vietnamese restaurant. The decor was absolutely stunning. The reds and the golds the lanterns, the details... exquisite. And a vegetarian meal !!!

The next afternoon after the business meeting and the calls, I decided I really needed to make an effort to overcome my ennui - after all when would I return to Vietnam ?

So I hauled myself downstairs. All the tours had departed and some had returned. I was able to hire a tour guide to accompany around town. Lots of bicycles - French style - heavy French influence on the architecture.. Saw the Hanoi Hilton- not a luxury hotel - but the prison in which American prisoners were held !

Drove around town, visited the markets - overwhelming smell of fish again - no seriously I've seen as much pork and chicken breast as I want to see in a lifetime - no exotic seafood does nothing to whet my appetitie - i've seen enough - yes fascinating shoe market.... but no not toda. I did pick up some souvenirs - the lacquered plates are stunning yet simple - learnt the legend of the temple in the lake with disappearing magic sword. I saw the Water Puppet theatre - where the puppets are manipulated from rice sticks under the water rather than dangled on a string (top picture) ...... picked up a couple of fish puppets... they look interesting just strewn around - nice , But seriously, no I'm not in a hurry to rush back even if it is the only place in the world with a favorable exchange rate to the dollar. I still was left with half of the million dong I had withdrawn from the ATM ($65 the AP CFO had told me). Finally spent it at the airport the next day on Vietnamese chikki - wonder what mom will say when I bring it home....... why does it smell like fish ?