The year was 2018, and I had decided to pull a clean sheet over my hitherto unhealthy lifestyle by proving a few things to myself. It included things like getting off the floor without taking any support, running 5 kms or come close enough to fool myself. Meeting new people and making new friendships was not on that list. But my then 89 years old mother and young niece, both of whom thrived on social connections had other ideas.
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| My Forever Bougainvillea |
So when we moved into Windmills, aided by my niece, my mother managed to make many friends in the community. Unaware and uninhibited by any concerns of modern protocols she established friendships across the board - with young and old, leveraging her smart phone and iPad to the hilt.
She would call up her new friends, and old, atleast once every few days, just to say hello. And to ask when they were going to come visit her. She meticulously obtained and saved everyone's phone numbers. And when she accidentally deleted most of her icons, roughly once every other week, she did not think twice about asking someone to fix it. She didn’t think twice about sharing her traditional vegetables and pickles - that there wasn’t enough to put on a plate, or that it wasn’t pretty enough to serve - none of this was relevant. To her it was about introducing the things she loved and sharing a piece of herself through it.
Nor was she shy about asking people to share their passions. And it was on one such cheek scorching occasion that she asked her new found friends Tony and Roma to plant her some flowers. “You have so many pretty flowers in your garden. Why don’t you help us plant some in ours.” While I’m not sure whether the “my daughter doesn’t have a clue” was actually spoken out aloud, I felt it. But that vanished a few days later when Tony showed up with a largish pot with a bougainvillea plant in it.
Over the next few months Tony directed the gardener on potting and repotting the plant till it developed a nice thick trunk and was ready to be planted into the ground. He picked the exact spot in which to plant it, such that it got the best sun and could be seen from most places in the apartment.
As the bougainvillea grew so did moms social life, and to my enormous surprise, so did mine.
While Tony and Roma soon became an integral part of moms world, they also became my extended family. The Amazaans a very spirited group of women of a certain age soon became the nucleus of various activities in our community. Our home was their natural headquarters. I found myself engaging in an increasing number of community activities organising, fund raising etc. I met lots of really interesting people and developed strong friendships of my own.
It’s been a year since we said goodbye to my mom - who sat around our dining table chatting and singing with her new friends up until the day she died. It’s been 3 years since Tony left us. But the bougainvillea, it continues to flourish and bloom.
In a few months, I too will say goodbye to this community. 6 years is a long time.... the longest i've ever lived in a particular home since I left Mumbai. The bougainvillea may be lucky enough to continue to bloom and inspire another generation. Or it may not. But the gift of this bougainvillea, the knowledge that I can go anywhere and create a community simply by reaching out, sharing and being open to receiving, asking.... this will go with me everywhere. This bougainvillea will continue to bloom and flourish and spread joy wherever it is.
